50 Funny Jokes that are Appropriate for Work
Posted by Kelsey Caldwell
Whether you're at a new job and trying to get to know people, breaking the ice before a meeting or just want to provide some comic relief at the office, these jokes are guaranteed to bring out the smiles.
Your workplace can be a stressful environment but whipping out a few jokes can lighten the tension and help people better connect. The next time somebody needs a pick-me-up, search this list for 50 funny jokes that won't land you in trouble with your boss!
Clean and funny jokes for the office
- What's the best thing about teamwork? Someone else to blame.
- What kind of award does the world's top dentist get? A little plaque.
- How does NASA organize a party? They planet.
- Why do I drink coffee? I like to do stupid things faster and with more energy.
- What's it called when you steal somebody's coffee? A mugging.
- What does a baby computer call his father? Data
- What's the best way to make a small fortune in the stock market? Start off with a big fortune.
- Why did the computer sneeze? It had a virus.
- How do you tell if an accountant is an extrovert? If he looks at your shoes when he talks to you instead of his own.
- What does a gossiping coffee do? Spill the beans.
- You know what can really ruin a Friday? Remembering it's Thursday.
- What kind of sugar does Lady Gaga like in her coffee? Raw raw raw raw raw.
- Why can you never trust spiders? Because they post stuff on the web.
- What is an alien's favorite place on a computer? The space bar.
- How does a coffee snob take their coffee? Seriously. Very seriously.
- How many computer programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, that's a hardware issue.
- Who wins in a fight between Sunday and Monday? Sunday, because Monday is a weekday.
- How do construction workers party? They raise the roof!
- What is the best way to criticize your boss? Very quietly, so he cannot hear you.
- What's the difference between a lawyer and God? God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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- How can you tell if you've found a good tax accountant? If he has a loophole named after him.
- Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory? They took a day off.
- How are coffee beans like teenagers? Both are always getting grounded
- Why are chemists great at solving problems? Because they have all the solutions
- Where do computers go to dance? The disk-o
Funny one-liner jokes for work
- Our computers went down at the office today, so we had to do everything manually. It took me fifteen minutes to shuffle the cards for Solitaire.
- To make an error is human, to blame it on someone else shows management potential.
- A worker walks into his boss's office and says "I've got three companies after me right now, so if you want me to stay here, I'll need a 5% raise." The boss agrees and the man gets up to leave. As he's walking out the door, his boss asks "What are the three companies after you?" The man replies "The electric company, the water company, and the gas company."
- I get plenty of exercise at work: jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
- All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't buy happiness.
- I went for an interview today and they told me I'd start at $3000 a month and then after six months, I'd get $3500 a month. I told them I'd start in six months.
- I got a job at a paperless office. Everything was great until I needed to use the bathroom.
- The first five days after the weekend are the hardest.
- Some say the glass is half full, others say the glass is half empty. Engineers say the glass is twice as big as necessary.
- Lately, coworkers have been writing names on the food in the office fridge. I'm currently eating a sandwich named Kevin.
- A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a workstation…
- I always tell new hires "Don't think of me as your boss. Think of me as your friend who can fire you."
- When I got to work this morning, my boss stormed up to me and said angrily "You missed work yesterday, didn't you?" I said, "No, not particularly."
- My resume is just a list of things I hope you never ask me to do.
- The reason we "nod off to sleep" is so that it looks like we're emphatically agreeing to everything when we fall asleep at boring work meetings.
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- The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person who upset you.
- I use artificial sweetener at work. I add it to everything I say to my boss.
- What did the computer do at lunchtime? Had a byte.
- If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer…oh wait, he does.
- People always say that hard work never killed anybody. But really, have you ever heard of anybody resting themselves to death?
- I used to work for the paper business. But then it folded.
- A salesperson came into an office one day and said "This computer will cut your workload by 50%!" The office manager replied "Great, I'll take two of them!"
- I tried starting a hot air balloon business, but it never took off.
- One astronaut said to the other "I can't find any milk." The other replied "In space, no one can. Here, use cream."
- My boss told me to have a good day…so I went home!
Lightening up the mood at the office with these work-friendly jokes will make you a favorite with your co-workers and your boss! Plus, keeping things appropriate ensures you never have to worry about going too far or getting in trouble for poor humor. The only thing you might be guilty of is telling corny jokes that get a few eye rolls along with a little grin. Either way, they will accomplish their purpose. A little laughter goes a long way to boosting your company culture.
Kelsey Caldwell is a realtor and freelance writer from Charlotte, NC. She and her husband are parents to two amazing kids, a puppy, and a rabbit.
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